Jokes |
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Application to Live In New Jersey:
Name: _____________________________ Nickname: __________________________ Address: ___________________________ Exit # (NJ Turnpike): _______ Exit # (Garden State Parkway): _______ Ethnic Background: ___Italian ___Sicilian ___Jewish ___Italian ___Italian Profession: ___Mechanic ___Truckdriver ___Meatpacker ___Dockworker ___Hairdresser ___Manacurist ___Avon Sales Lady ___Waitress @ Bennigan's___Exotic Dancer Backyard Smells Like: ___Sewage ___Sulfur ___Garbage ___All 3 # of Muscle Shirts Owned: ___5-10 ___10-15 ___15-20 ___20 and above # of Bon Jovi Tour Shirts Owned: ___5-10 ___10-15 ___15-20 ___20 and above # of Bon Jovi Shirts That are Also Muscle Shirts: ___5-10 ___10-15 ___15-20 ___20 and above Brand of Jeans Preferred: ___Sergio Valente ___Jordache ___Sassoon ___Z.Cavaricci Percentage of Wardrobe Which is Skintight: ___100% ___95-100% ___90-95% ___85-90% # of Gold Chains Owned: ___10-15 ___15-20 ___20-25 ___25 and above # of Gold Chains Worn at One Time: ___5-10 ___10-15 ___15-20 ___20 and above Approximate Value of ALL jewelry: ___$5-$10 ___$10-$15 ___$15-$20 ___Stolen Number of Applications of Obsession/Polo/Drakar Before Going Out: ___10-15 ___15-25 ___25 and above Gold Cap on at Least One Tooth? ___Yes ___No Hair Height (must be completed by applicants seeking residency in Edgewater or Bayonne) ___6-8 inches ___8-12 inches ___1-2 feet___More than 2 feet Hair Products Used: ___Hair Spray ___Styling Gel ___Mousse ___Extra Hold Styling Gel ___Bondo ___Spackle ___40 Weight Oil ___Krazy Glue Automobile Owned: ___IROC Z ___Firebird ___Camaro___Mustang___Thunderbird Number of Inches Car is Off the Ground: ___6-8 inches ___4-6 inches ___2-4 inches ___Under 2 inches Car Paraphernalia: ___Gold chain around license plate ___Neon lights around license plate ___Neon lights under car ___Chippendales/Playboy air freshener hanging on rear view mirror ___Garter hanging from rear view mirror ___Chrome hubcaps ___Stick-on window tinting ___Stick-on paint splash stickers ___Fuzzy dice TATTOO ___Crown deodorizer on dash or in rear window ___Crucifix on dashboard Favorite Music: ___Techno ___Rap ___Bon Jovi ___Bruce Springsteen Favorite Actor/Actress: ___Joe Pesci ___Robert DeNiro ___Al Pacino ___Marisa Tomei___Annette Funicello ___Anna Magnani Favorite Movie: ___The Godfather ___The Godfather Part II ___The Godfather Part III___Goodfellas ___My Cousin Vinnie # of Religious Statutes at Grandparents House: ___5-10 ___10-15 ___15-20 ___ 20 and above Relatives Named "Sal" ___5-10 ___10-15 ___15-20 ___20 and above Favorite International Destination: ___Belmar ___Seaside Heights ___Point Pleasant ___Bayonne ___Great Adventure ___Secaucus Favorite Driving Technique ___Tailgating ___Attacking stop signs ___Doing 106 mph on the right shoulder of the Parkway ___Giving the finger to slow, elderly drivers (non-related) ___Giving the finger to slow, elderly drivers (own grandparents)! |