Jokes



Application to Live In New Jersey:

Name: _____________________________

Nickname: __________________________

Address: ___________________________

Exit # (NJ Turnpike): _______

Exit # (Garden State Parkway): _______

Ethnic Background:
___Italian ___Sicilian ___Jewish ___Italian ___Italian

Profession:
___Mechanic ___Truckdriver ___Meatpacker ___Dockworker
___Hairdresser ___Manacurist ___Avon Sales Lady
___Waitress @ Bennigan's___Exotic Dancer
Backyard Smells Like:
___Sewage ___Sulfur ___Garbage ___All 3

# of Muscle Shirts Owned:
___5-10 ___10-15 ___15-20 ___20 and above

# of Bon Jovi Tour Shirts Owned:
___5-10 ___10-15 ___15-20 ___20 and above

# of Bon Jovi Shirts That are Also Muscle Shirts:
___5-10 ___10-15 ___15-20 ___20 and above

Brand of Jeans Preferred:
___Sergio Valente ___Jordache ___Sassoon ___Z.Cavaricci

Percentage of Wardrobe Which is Skintight:
___100% ___95-100% ___90-95% ___85-90%

# of Gold Chains Owned:
___10-15 ___15-20 ___20-25 ___25 and above

# of Gold Chains Worn at One Time:
___5-10 ___10-15 ___15-20 ___20 and above

Approximate Value of ALL jewelry:
___$5-$10 ___$10-$15 ___$15-$20 ___Stolen

Number of Applications of Obsession/Polo/Drakar Before Going Out:
___10-15 ___15-25 ___25 and above

Gold Cap on at Least One Tooth?
___Yes ___No

Hair Height (must be completed by applicants seeking residency in Edgewater
or Bayonne)
___6-8 inches ___8-12 inches ___1-2 feet___More than 2 feet

Hair Products Used:
___Hair Spray ___Styling Gel ___Mousse ___Extra Hold Styling Gel
___Bondo ___Spackle ___40 Weight Oil ___Krazy Glue

Automobile Owned:
___IROC Z ___Firebird ___Camaro___Mustang___Thunderbird

Number of Inches Car is Off the Ground:
___6-8 inches ___4-6 inches ___2-4 inches ___Under 2 inches

Car Paraphernalia:
___Gold chain around license plate
___Neon lights around license plate
___Neon lights under car
___Chippendales/Playboy air freshener hanging on rear view mirror
___Garter hanging from rear view mirror
___Chrome hubcaps
___Stick-on window tinting
___Stick-on paint splash stickers
___Fuzzy dice TATTOO
___Crown deodorizer on dash or in rear window
___Crucifix on dashboard

Favorite Music:
___Techno ___Rap ___Bon Jovi ___Bruce Springsteen

Favorite Actor/Actress:
___Joe Pesci ___Robert DeNiro ___Al Pacino
___Marisa Tomei___Annette Funicello ___Anna Magnani

Favorite Movie:
___The Godfather ___The Godfather Part II
___The Godfather Part III___Goodfellas ___My Cousin Vinnie

# of Religious Statutes at Grandparents House:
___5-10 ___10-15 ___15-20 ___ 20 and above

Relatives Named "Sal"
___5-10 ___10-15 ___15-20 ___20 and above

Favorite International Destination:
___Belmar
___Seaside Heights
___Point Pleasant
___Bayonne
___Great Adventure
___Secaucus

Favorite Driving Technique
___Tailgating
___Attacking stop signs
___Doing 106 mph on the right shoulder of the Parkway
___Giving the finger to slow, elderly drivers (non-related)
___Giving the finger to slow, elderly drivers (own grandparents)!




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