Jokes



ATM Procedures

Please note that the PNC Bank is installing new
"Drive-through" ATMs.
Customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving
their vehicles. To enable customers to use this new
facility, the
following procedures have been drawn up. Please read the
procedure
that applies to your own circumstances (I.e. MALE or FEMALE)
and
remember them when you use the machine for the first time.

MALE PROCEDURE

1 Drive up to the cash machine.
2 Put down your car window.
3 Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4 Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5 Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6 Put window up.
7 Drive off.


FEMALE PROCEDURE

1 Drive up to cash machine.
2 Reverse back the required amount to align car window to
machine.
3 Set parking brake and put the window down.
4 Find purse and dump all contents on to passenger seat to
locate card.

5 Turn the radio down.
6 Attempt to insert card into machine.
7 Reaching as far as possible, attempt to insert card into
machine.
8 Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to
its excessive
distance from the car.
9 Insert card.
10 Re-insert card the right way up.
11 Dig through purse to find diary with your PIN written on
the inside
back page.
12 Enter PIN.
13 Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
14 Enter amount of cash required.
15 Check make up in rear view mirror.
16 Retrieve cash and receipt.
17 Empty purse again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
18 Place receipt in back of checkbook.
19 Re-check make-up.
20 Drive forward 2 feet.
21 Reverse back to cash machine.
22 Retrieve card.
23 Re-empty purse, locate card holder, and place card into
the slot
provided.
24 Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male
drivers
queuing behind.
24 Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25 Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
26 Release Parking Brake.





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